miraculous scope of human generosity

sometimes i think about how i could ever repay those who've helped me get to where i am today, and those who'll help me get to where i'll be tomorrow. as i read the very end of "eat pray love" the answer just jumped out from the pages into my soul. i wanted to share it with you, too.

"i don't know how to repay them. [paragraph] in the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. in the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices."
p.334

i feel gracious toward so many, and will continue saying thank you for just as long as i can.

luxury vs. necessity: what do i really need?

a few weeks ago i took an online poll that i found on msn.com, about what the american people now see as luxuries or necessities in our society today. while i was aware before this that i had changed significantly in my two years here in agua prieta, i never would have imagined that everything "others" said were necessities, i would say were luxuries.

allow me to "explicate" myself a bit.

i grew up in a home that had everything-- washer, dryer, multiple cars, multiple television sets, dishwasher, dvd players, home computer, air conditioning, central heating-- just about everything a person could want, minus high-speed internet (oh well, it's a good lesson in patience, waiting on dial-up). yet hanging our clothes up on the clothesline on a sunny day was not uncommon, and actually washing the dishes by hand happened more often than not. little things like these, i learned from, no doubt. but air conditioning and (especially) heating? oh, baby. bring that stuff ooooon!

fast-forward some years to agua prieta, sonora, where i've considered "home" for the past two years, and i've lived without a clothes washer, clothes dryer, tv set, dishwasher, dvd player, air conditioning, heating, high-speed internet-- all of it, whether by choice or by lack of resources, i've lacked. yet i haven't necessarily missed it all. some examples:

heating-- oh man, heating, how i've begged for you and begged for you but have ended up just putting on another pair of socks, pants, sweatshirt, scarf to make up for you. but you've really been the only long-lost friend.
air conditioning-- it turns out that adjusting to desert heat is a lot easier without air conditioning, and it affects your body in a way that actually aids metabolism after you've lived off of ice water and fruit smoothies from such extreme heat for a time. i've even been known to survive a sonoran desert summer w/o a personal fan. a.c., you're a nice luxury, but i don't need you.
tv set-- i can hardly recall what one of these looks like, let alone how one uses it. while i had one in college, the only time i ever used it was to watch movies from my dvd player or to see an occasional chivas vs. america juego de futbol. and that was just when cable was offered to me for free at college. post-college, the set stayed at home, and i've been without ever since.
dishwasher-- mama taught me to wash those dishes. 'nuff said.

so, i suppose one could say that by not having these items, nor even desiring them anymore, i've been able to save a lot of energy in practice, and money as well. i feel i have a really good life, even, or perhaps especially, without such items that most usa households feel are must-haves.

comete una locura: read this book

"por ejemplo, i always remember my father warning my mother not to do anything crazy. but he would say it in spanish. 'no vayas a cometer una locura,' he would say, using the closest spanish idiom. this, however, changes the meaning, as it would translate back into english as, "don't go and commit a craziness." see, in spanish you wouldn't just do something crazy. you commit a craziness. like a murder. we're very serious about our locuras. and we're always warning one another not to commit one. although, in my mother's case, such warnings casi siempre backfired.

pero anyway, it's not just about the words, sino tambien el hecho de que hay diferentes aspectos conceptuales at work in each language universe. you can't conceive of committing a locura in english, because the exact concept does not exist in that language. don't even commit the locura of trying it. you may get caught and end up in jail for premeditated locura. and, como quien dice, if you can't do the time, no vayas a cometer la locura."

--pardon my spanglish, by bill santiago
pp. 22, 23

getting it right this time

i always assume that if something is to be written, it must be written right. perhaps that's why i've never kept up on a blog and i was an expert procrastinator on writing my papers in college. all i know is that i want to get this right this time. all these thoughts just need a home to go to.